The Phone Call Conundrum
by Anonymississippi
Summary: Sheldon and Amy's bimonthly lunch-date at the Cal-Tech cafeteria is put on hold for an important call. Instead of skipping it altogether, Amy brings lunch to his office. Enthusiasm, macaroni and chocolate chips make for a lovely meal.


_Because I needed to procrastinate during my finals, and because I couldn't be bothered to start on anything multi-chaptered. And because I missed the Shamy. Don't own, never will. Belongs to CBS, Prady and Lorre._

**_*Warning* Contains miniscule spoilers to 6x23, The Love Spell Potential (more of a passing reference, really, nothing specific). Wait til after Thursday for reading if you don't want to be spoiled. Otherwise, enjoy :D_**

"Dr. Cooper?"

"Yes, Alex?" Sheldon paused his lunch-time packing, his laptop safely stowed in its carrying case, a dry erase marker clutched in his right hand.

"President Seiber dropped by your office earlier. I didn't let him in as you were still pretty tied up with the QFT stabilization of the Einstein-Jordan conundrum. He said that you should be expecting a call around noon."

"A phone call?"

"Yes."

"Did he mention what it was concerning?"

"He said you'd definitely want to be around for it."

"Well, that's odd. Why would someone call during the appointed hours for midday ingestion?"

"I… don't know, sir?"

"Did he say who would be calling?"

"No. He said it was a surprise."

"Alex, if you've learned anything about me in the past eight months, you should know that I dislike surprises."

"Oh, I know. Right up there with email humor and improper storage of sci-fi memorabilia."

"Was that sarcasm?" Sheldon asked.

"Sarcasm is practically number one on the list of your dislikes. Would I use that intentionally?"

Sheldon eyed his assistant skeptically. "You see, I can't tell if you're being intentionally sarcastic because you know I'm slightly hindered in social interactions, or if your sincerity is naturally condescending."

Alex stared gape-mouthed at Sheldon. "I'm going to lunch." She left abruptly.

Sheldon extracted his personal cell phone from his back pocket and slid a thumb across the bottom of the screen. He dialed quickly.

"Amy? Are you already in the physics building?

...

"Oh, that's unfortunate, as I've been detained in my office."

…

"Apparently, I'm receiving an important phone call."

…

"I'm not sure."

…

"No, I am NOT trying to get out of our bi-monthly lunch date! And I resent the accusation. I wrote that clause in the agreement because prolonged lunches with those individuals who comprise our social paradigm inevitably devolve into banal and trivial conversation."

…

"Just because it's not nice doesn't make it untrue."

...

Do you think I would willingly interrupt my ingestion schedule?"

"Yeah, you have before," Amy said, sliding around the frame of his office door. She mashed a finger to the screen of her phone as she hung up.

"Amy?"

"Hi, Sheldon." Amy walked into his office, carrying two small Styrofoam containers and a bottle of water. "I knew when you were late you'd probably been held up. You're never late."

"I'd call that an astute observation, but due to our prolonged contact, I'd be genuinely concerned if you _didn't_ know that about me after three years. I've what some call an unnatural tendency towards punctuality."

"It's obsessive, not unnatural. I mean, it _is _unnatural, but I'm also operating under the assumption that most people are inclined to mislabel, and have conflated the adjectives. Plus, it's macaroni day. You love macaroni day."

She nudged the container across the desk and placed the unopened bottle of water beside it.

"Thank you, Amy Farrah Fowler. That was very thoughtful of you."

"Well, I didn't want our bimonthly luncheon to be disrupted for a phone call. That's odd that the president designated you take it personally. I don't understand why your assistant couldn't have taken it for you."

"Odd is the precise word that I used! I'm at a loss, just as you are." He reached for the plastic fork tentatively. He wasn't exactly uncomfortable, but his interactions with Amy had been slightly strained after their talk concerning their (his) issues with physical intimacy in his own bed room. She'd let the issue drop for the time being, which he appreciated. As well as his macaroni. It was nice of her to go out of her way and bring him macaroni.

"Well, shall we begin then?" Amy asked. "I know you're not one for eating in your office, but, if you'll risk a meal around the preservative fluids in my lab, why not give it a go in your quarters?"

"I guess this spontaneity isn't quite that bad. I do love a good boiled noodle slathered in cheesey by-product."

Sheldon took his place behind his desk and Amy moved a small, fold-out chair from the other side of the room, producing paper napkins and a sanitary hand wipe in a flurry from one of the recesses of her cross-shoulder purse.

"Were you able to get those blood sample results?" Sheldon asked casually.

"The lab didn't have them ready this morning. Something about a malfunctioning centrifuge. They said it was one of the test animals. But if they're going to run behavioral testing by teaching those monkeys to open locks, what do they _expect_ to happen?"

"They could have at least put an electronic lock on the door."

"The monkeys are hacking electronic locks."

Sheldon's fork hovered in mid-air, laden with warm, yellowy starch. "Are we sure that's safe? This is heading down the road that got us to _Planet of the Apes_. The seventies version!"

"I highly doubt that's going to happen."

"I wish you wouldn't discount those films so quickly," Sheldon insisted lightly. "Before we have science fact we have to have science fiction."

"Do you really think you're going to make a ring that can magically shapeshift into anything you want just through mental manipulation?"

"I don't think _I_ will in the given technological timeframe… but if it's going to be anybody living in the next sixty years, it'll be me."

Amy shook her head acquiescingly, a small grin tugging at her lip creases. "If anyone could do it, it would be you," she reiterated. "Thanks for eating with me, even if we have to stay in your office. I know it isn't exactly part of your routine. But it's nice being able to talk to someone who will talk back, especially when they're not throwing day old banana peels at you while you attempt to inject them with nicotine doses."

"As I've said many times, I enjoy our conversations."

"Yes, I do, too." Amy stabbed another serving with her fork, determined not to push him into any more excessively personal talk today. He'd as good as made a promise to her after the board game incident, and that was enough for this week. She could wait, because he was brilliant. And because she lo— well, because you didn't just make some random acquaintance your emergency contact. She exhaled heavily, rotating the cap of her own water bottle. _Baby steps, Amy_, she thought to herself.

She nodded towards the dry erase board.

"What are you working on today? Still on with the application of the QFT stabilizers?"

"Yes!" Sheldon perked up, excited to talk through his calculus. "You know how Kripke and I made that breakthrough with the insertion of the conundrum into diverted black matter pathways? Well, now that we know the equations balance, we're attempting to find the correct stabilization point that will allow us to manipulate the diameter of the vacuum."

"Sounds fascinating!"

"Indeed. The sheer fact that we were able to insert the conundrum in the first place was a stroke of genius on my part, but when Kripke suggested altering diameter patterns, it meant we'd be able to control implosion points."

Amy nodded with enthusiasm, the finer points going a bit over her head. She tried hard to keep up with most of Sheldon's work. She was familiar with the Einstein-Jordan conundrum, but black matter was not her field of expertise. She'd rather have something solid, gooey, and neuron-filled, plopped on a silver dissecting dish in front of her, ready for her steady hand and a two-inch blade.

Amy felt a tickle on her finger and glanced up from her to-go box; Sheldon's free left hand had somehow migrated across the desk to rest against her own. He wasn't even holding it. It was just… there. Skin barely touching.

Amy patted it before she inched hers away.

"Sheldon, you don't have to do that."

"Do what?"

"You know what. And don't be coy. I didn't even know you _could_ be coy."

"I told you I would try. We're alone, in my office, on our bimonthly lunch date. I think this occasion warrants an effort." He slid his thin pinky onto the bulk of her hand, locking it underneath her ring and pinky fingers. It was awkward. But it was genuine. It was Sheldon. "Plus, I saw you sanitize with the wipe."

They continued chatting about his stabilization process, the pair pausing every now and then for Sheldon to expound on a few finer points of the process to allow Amy some mental leeway. Time passed and they were finished with their lunches. It was nearly twenty to one.

"It seems that your phone call isn't coming," Amy said.

"I wonder if this was another rouse to keep me out of the cafeteria. After I sent a formal letter of complaint when they switched the oatmeal raisin cookies with the chocolate chips and then _didn't_ relabel the selection, the lunch staff became verbally hostile toward me."

"What happened?"

"Just some names. A few empty threats. But seriously, what if someone had a raisin allergy? More importantly, where did they put the chocolate chips?!"

"Which reminds me…" Amy said, whipping two individually wrapped cookies from her vest pocket.

Sheldon's face lit up.

"I should warn you. One is oatmeal raisin, and they aren't labeled," she threw him a cheeky grin.

"Are you toying with me?"

"Every chance I get," she said, sliding the treat across the desk. "They're both chocolate. I'm with you. There should be no fruit in a cookie."

He began unwrapping his sweet when the landline in his office started ringing.

Amy's brows rose inquisitively. "We have our mystery caller."

Sheldon picked up the receiver.

"Dr. Cooper… yes, Sheldon Cooper…"

Amy began munching on her cookie, unable to hear any speech from the other end of the line. Sheldon's face wasn't betraying anything. Probably just another administration directive he would want to avoid, another event he would need an excuse to get out of. She thought it bad luck the number of his and her relatives that have just "happened" to be in the hospital during one of his mandatory staff events. They were trying fate.

"No, I completely understand… It is wonderful news…"

Good news? Didn't seem to be. Sheldon was practically stone-faced.

"I hope to hear from you soon… yes, thank you. Goodbye." Sheldon placed the phone down and stood from his chair, cookie abandoned. He nervously gnawed on the inside of his gum, pacing the area between his closed office door and the back of Amy's chair.

"Sheldon, is something wrong?" Amy asked. She scooched her chair back and started to rise, eyeing Sheldon like one of her cornered monkeys, the ones who had come to recognize what the syringe did and got that crazed look in the middle of their irises.

"I… I— that is…" Sheldon ran his hands through his hair, pacing becoming more manic. "I can't… I…" he was smiling now, beaming, light-house glow, come-out-of-the-storm, guide-you-home light from his face.

"So I take it it's something good?" Amy said, a bemused wariness relaxing her features, thankful that Sheldon wasn't perturbed.

"Good? Good?! _Good_ is retrieving a ten dollar bill in your freshly washed pants pocket. Or finding a mint-condition _Flash_ comic at Stewart's place before some unknowing amateur enthusiast snatches it up! Or… or, Professor Proton coming for a visit. This is so far beyond good!"

He leaped about… well, as much leaping as an uncoordinated thirty-year-old physicist with no real knowledge of bodily dexterity could do without straining some muscle.

"They had to call during the middle of the day, because they've been in a confidential round-table for hours… what with the time difference and all," he said, running up to Amy. She didn't know what surprised her more; that his accent was slipping out or that he had willingly gotten so close. He grabbed her arms and shook them gently, a legitimate excitement the only reason she could think up for this type of contact.

"Well, what is it?" Amy had a guess, what with all of his ground-breaking work with Kripke lately. If she was right, this could be so huge for him… His expression had transferred to her face, she was so eager to hear him say it.

"Come on, out with it Sheldon!"

"It was Geneva."

"And?!" she prodded.

"And Kripke and I have been nominated for the Nobel!"

"Of course you have!" Amy squealed. She wanted to throw herself at him, shout from her window, call Penny, and her mother (take THAT mother!), get him a present, jump up and down, kiss him senseless, give him the president's parking spot, and a number of other things that were all swirling around in her head because SHELDON had just been nominated for a Nobel Prize, and even if he didn't get it, he would surely be able to make the breakthrough on the diameter manipulation, which would at least warrant another nomination, and possibly a win! And that research could lead to more nominations, until…. He was really going to do it. Sheldon Cooper was going to win the Nobel Prize in Physics.

"Sheldon, I'm so happy for you!" Amy extended her hand. "It's a bit preemptory, but how about a congratulatory handshake for the nomination?"

To her surprise, Sheldon thrust his own palm forward and gripped her petite hand in his, wagging it up and down in exhilarated enthusiasm. He stuck his other hand on top and shook it rapidly.

"I just can't contain myself!" he said, jittering with her hand in his.

If she was quite honest, it was a bit uncomfortable; but she wouldn't ruin his moment.

"I feel like I could run a marathon!" Sheldon said. "Or climb a mountain, or… or, eat dairy after six pm!"

"Dream big, that's what I always say!"

"I've got to call my mother, and my Mee Maw… I could just—" he stared down at her, his shaking hands still pumping like a hyper, malfunctioning elevator.

"Do I need to call anyone? I can get Penny, and she can call Leo—"

She couldn't finish her list of friends to inform, because Sheldon had pulled Amy's small hand with such force that she stumbled flush against him. Which was less concerning than the fact that his face was squashed against hers in a deliberate physical initiation culminating in much-awaited lip-to-lip contact. Closed mouth, of course; the man still had his senses.

Before Amy could calculate just what was happening he turned his head up, leaving her blasted cardiac muscle thumping faster than a Thoroughbred on a racetrack and her cheeks flushing redder than his Flash shirt.

"I—"

"I'm sorry," Sheldon muttered, confused yet still excited, puzzlement combating his joyfully exaggerated features. "I've just been nominated for the Nobel Prize, you see."

"Perfectly understandable."

"But I—" he looked down at her again, and this time, she didn't know what she saw.

Not that she much cared, either, because his lips were back on hers and his hands were on her back and he was here and she was here and was that his _tongue_ on her lower lip—

"Coopuh! Oh, sorry, guess you started celebrating a little early."

Amy had never formed an opinion of Kripke, only ever liking or disliking him depending on whether Sheldon liked or disliked him. But right now, Amy felt such hatred for that man with maligned speech that she would willingly have picked his brain apart, lobe by grey-mattered lobe…

"Couldn't beeweive it myself!" Kripke said. "Though, won't know fah shuw until anothuh few months. Just wanted to extend my congwatulashuns, and say thanks fah wuhking wit me. You weally stepped up yuh game with da Jawdan conundwum, especially when you wewen't all up on this, am I wight?" Kripke said, a pointed nod in Amy's direction.

Amy didn't know what to make of the comment, but Sheldon certainly looked flustered.

"Yes well… despite my earlier hesitancy, it was not all unpleasant," Sheldon said, hastily gripping Barry's hand and giving it a firm shake. He was walking the man out the door, Kripke backpedaling against his directed force. "Good to see you, I'll bring the stabilization equations to you after lunch!" he yelled, shutting the door swiftly behind him.

"What was that all about?"

"Barry? He's... you know—"

"No, I don't. And what did he mean by, 'all up on this'?" she asked pointedly, an errant hand waving generally at her person.

"I do not know what he was referring to."

"Really?" she asked skeptically.

"Really," Sheldon said, plastering his Koala face on.

Bad move, she thought.

"You do know I'm friends with a particular blonde, who can use sexual favors to find out most anything I want to know from your roommate, correct?"

"I, um, haven't given that much thought." Sheldon gulped audibly.

"So, you don't have anything else to say to me?"

"I… I mean, I've just been nominated for the Nobel Prize, I don't think I should have to explain—"

"You're right. You were just nominated for the Nobel Prize. Would you like to instead explain what happened roughly three minutes after you found out about your nomination? What was happening before Kripke came in?" she asked, taunting him as she slid her purse over her shoulder. "Either explain the Kripke thing, or talk about what just happened."

Once again caught in an in-between of elation and befuddled stubbornness, Sheldon spit out a hushed, rapid-fire explanation:

"Kripke mayormaynotbe under the impression that we are participating in coitus dailyorsometimesmultipletimesaday because my work was suffering and he asked if it was because I was engaging in sexual activities andIdidn'tdenyit because I didn't want him to be better than me soIwasn'treallylying but I sort of was so now everyone in the department thinks we're havingsexalotwhichiswhymyworkwasn'tsogreatacoupleo fmonthsago."

He huffed out the final syllables in one long breath; it was all Amy could do to keep up with the narrative.

"Well then," she said, face turning placid as she moved towards the door. "Suppose we'll just have to keep doing what we were doing just before he came in to keep up the show. Or, you know, he might get suspicious."

"I don't think that would be—"

"Oh, and you've got some chocolate on your lip," Amy said.

"I haven't eaten my cookie yet."

"I know. But I have," Amy grabbed the doorknob. "Congratulations, Sheldon."

"Thank you, Amy."

End.

_Meh. Kripke's voice is difficult to type out, but I thought I'd give it a go. Would love to know what you thought, good or bad. They're the two I have trouble keeping IC, so suggestions always welcome! Reviews appreciated :D_


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